It’s not often that things annoy me but the male entitlement demonstrated by a number of you is somewhat aggravating. It might not have crossed your mind that your behaviour is frustrating to women or that there is anything wrong with it. But Twitter and Fetlife seems to be littered with vast numbers of you moaning and whining about what you think you’re owed or deserve and aren’t getting.

Me and my friends, both professional and lifestyle, are often bombarded with messages from you saying “I want xyz, I’ve dreamed about it all my life. I need. I deserve. I should have. I don’t want to pay for it. I shouldn’t have to pay for it. I don’t want to pay that much for it. I don’t think you should do abc. And if you do abc you can’t be a proper Domme etc.” At times it feels relentless and it can be wearing.

So here’s some valuable tips to stop you from rubbing us up the wrong way.

Tips when approaching professionals:

* Don’t think the session is solely about you. Even though you are paying I won’t accept a session if it isn’t something I will enjoy or get a kick from. I still expect to control the session and would love you to enjoy it because you’re happy to be serving me.
* Don’t waste my time. Don’t email, message or phone if you don’t intend to book.
* Don’t book and not turn up.
* Don’t ask me questions which indicate you haven’t read my website.
* Don’t ever try to negotiate with me over price.
* Don’t lie to me about experience or medical conditions.
* Don’t complain about, moan about or bad mouth other Mistresses.
* Do pay the deposit requested, do turn up on time, do be respectful and do enjoy yourself.
* Do be polite and respectful.

In return you will find I am very generous with my time and attention. But only when you have proven your commitment to serving me.

Tips when approaching a Mistress on a lifestyle basis.

* Don’t send me an essay outlining all your wants and needs.
* Conversely don’t send me a one liner begging me to do whatever I want with you.
* Don’t use the scattergun cut and paste approach and bombard every Mistress you come across with the same message.
* Do think about what you bring to the table. Explain what you can offer and why we might find you worthy or valuable to have in our stable. Gifts etc are nice but it’s not all about financial gain. Think about what else you can offer.
* Again be respectful and polite.
* Do appreciate us as individuals. We are not the stereotypes often portrayed in porn.
* Do put some effort in to be part of the community. Attend munches, clubs and events. Get out there and get known.

Above all don’t moan and be jealous of those who are in the position you want to be in. They’ve often worked hard for it and put in a lot of time, effort and money. There is no secret way. Once you’ve achieved your goal and place, continue to work hard for it. The effort doesn’t stop. Becoming a sub/slave isn’t the end point.

In short whether a client or someone more lifestyle take a step back and remember you are owed nothing from any Domme, or indeed woman, until you have proven yourself worthy of our time and attention.

4 thoughts on Avoiding Male Entitlement

  1. It’s sad that these things need to be continually said but unfortunately I say the same frustrations aired daily.

    Having once been a personal sub I have first hand experience of the wheedling, conniving, entitled subs who were determined to replace me.

    Consequently I have utter disdain for 99% of male subs and cherish the links I have with those of the 1% I know. I have a lot less patience and forgiveness in me than the dommes I know in this regard. I’m always amazed at how long it takes for a domme’s patience to snap who are mostly compassionate and caring in the face of unbelievable provocation.

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